Well, I haven’t posted to this thing because frankly, I have been busy. I have been busy with feeling like poo. I have been busy trying to motivate myself to get through the last few weeks of school. I have been busy warding off rashes of unknown causes. And on top of all of that, I have been desperately trying to find a work from home job that pays decently with no set hours and no video talking because I can’t stand the way I look. I don’t want any of the clutter that fills areas of my house to be visible to any potential employers. I don’t want to make another commitment I can not keep because my body throws me a big NOPE NOT TODAY signal. But I do need to work. I need to be able to afford my medicine and doctors appointments. I need to be able to buy small things I need but put off because I don’t have the money.
I have always lived paycheck to paycheck whether it be my paycheck or my husbands. And it never matters how big are small the check, we find a place to spend it all promptly. And we don’t have extravagant things so we aren’t the type to just blow money on things that aren’t necessary. Sure, we splurge every now and then, but nothing major.
It’s Memorial Day weekend and as I type this my husband is outside merrily playing with his newest addition to the family. One that my youngest son is super excited about too. CHICKENS!!!!! Yes, I said chickens, the feathered sort. The egg laying kind. Something I have expressed no desire to have and raise for several reasons which were probably all petty on my part so I won’t get into that. But bless him for just going ahead and getting them because it has kept them busy since yesterday and out of my hair for a little while. I hate that I feel that way.
Just this time two summers ago I would want nothing more than to be outside sharing these moments with them. And I still do, but I can’t. I don’t know what is causing these rashes. I don’t know if its sweat, sun, pollen, medicine, I just don’t know. What I do know is that it along with the horrific pain is just too much to bear. But I ‘m missing out on so much now. I don’t want to be. I’m tired of making excuses too. Especially when I had much rather participate than not and explain my reasoning. And why does it always sound so minuscule when it is said out loud, but the pain is so not minuscule?
I hope you all have a great Memorial Day filled with lots of festivities. I am going to go see what’s going on in the yard with my chickens’.
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!