Winter is Over

I haven’t been writing much lately. I have found myself constantly trying to venture into new areas in an effort to continue to be able to work from home so I can afford my insurance and stay my version of healthy.

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I have been working for a company for going on two years and business has all but came to a stand still. Because of this, I am not getting over 20 hours a week. This takes a good toll on your bank account. Not only that, but stress levels are through the roof.

Stress causes disease to grab hold of you and beat you like a drum. Not only that, but the rain season began and that alone can cause pain levels to be astronomical.

For those of you who follow my blog, you know I am a TV fanatic. I can live without a lot of things in life, but my TV is NOT one of them. When pain and stress take hold of me I find myself getting completely immersed in TV. I have found a lot of good shows to binge watch. Two of the latest: Outlander and Peaky Blinders.

Let me tell you, these shows have blown my mind. They are so creative and they really pull you into their world. The stories are very well written and the characters and the actors that play them will knock your socks off. If you haven’t watched either of these shows, do yourself a huge favor and get busy doing so. Outlander is set to come on Netflix May 27th and Peaky Blinders is already there. You can thank me later for these recommendations.

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Last night, one of my other favorites, Game of Thrones, came to a final end. There are so many people mad about the entire last season and the writing and I for one, don’t understand. I mean, this is a TV show and the one thing that has kept people so immersed in the show is the element of surprise. Sure, I think Jon deserved a higher purpose but he got what he wanted. He saved the world and got little to no recognition for it. He’s never wanted that for himself and if you followed the show you know this.

Still, the shows ending leaves a large gap for viewers to fill. There are said to be spinoffs and I hope they aren’t as long awaited as the final season was. I can’t wait to see what they have in store.

Changing subjects, I have also been back to doing surveys to fill the time and make a few extra dollars. One new one I have found that I didn’t previously use is Survey Junkie. It really is self explainatory but you basically find surveys you want to take and earn money upon completion. You can choose to get paid via PayPal so it is a win, win. Please take a look if this interest you and don’t forget to use my link when you sign up.

I am off to do some more job searchin’. I hope to use more of my spare time to write more. I am also in the process of opening my own store. It is a lot easier said than done and will always be a work in progress but please take a peek and let me know if you have any suggestions as I really do need help getting the word out in the cheapest way possible 🙂 The website is dontabbreviateme.net.

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Hope you guys have a great summer! Stay Cool and most of all BE WELL!

Trapped By Illness

cbcb67c91ceb2ff56bdd60601c9eaf64Have you ever been somewhere that you really really didn’t want to be?  All you can think about is the moment you get to leave. The feeling of slipping back into your pajamas when you get home and hitting the bed like a ton of bricks. The random thoughts that run through your head –  this time tomorrow, I won’t be here. In just three more hours this will be over. This is just a few hours out of my entire life, I can do this.

 

Now, imagine that feeling for the rest of your life. Only you aren’t somewhere you don’t want to be. You are just trapped inside your own body which is breaking down at every single turn you make. You can’t even find a comfortable position to lay and exist in bed. It is miserable.

 


imagesNot only are you overtaken by pain from doing merely nothing besides waking up, but you know all of the things you should be doing are going undone and it is all your fault. You know you look lazy, crazy, and useless to the people around you but you have learned to just accept this label. It’s not fair, but life isn’t fair. This is a saying I have said to my kids more times than I can count and it has come back to bite me tenfold. – “Life’s not fair.” “The only fair you are going to find in life comes to town once a year.” “You buy your tickets and you ride your rides and that’s all the fair you get.” I don’t even get that. I can’t walk around a fair. I struggle to walk around the grocery store.

 

chronic-illness-memesMy 16-year-old son does all of my grocery shopping. I haven’t been to Walmart in months. I am so grateful for him doing this task for me and he will never know just how much. I think about how quickly they go from 16-year-olds to adults living elsewhere and think that by then my house will be clean. By then I will be able to do my own shopping. And then reality hits. By then, I will probably be worse off than I am now and I won’t expect him to do my shopping anymore. By then, what the Hell will I do?

 

I think when you spend so much time accepting the things you can not do it causes you to put off even the things you can do. For instance, writing in this blog. I keep putting it off and I don’t have a reason why. If I’m being honest, writing here is comforting because I am hopeful that sharing my feelings causes someone out there who is having the same life struggles to feel less alone if they stumble across my blog. I am holding on to the fact that my inability to do what I want will somehow encourage others.

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For several months I have been trying to build a store in Shopify that piggybacks off of my blog. So far, it has only been a hobby which I am constantly trying to make profitable.  I have never sold a single thing but I am learning a great deal about what to do and what not to do as far as designing goes. If you have time, check it out HERE.

 

IMG_6395I know this has been a short post and the posts haven’t been happening a lot lately. I do hope to change that very soon. If you have time to leave me a comment, I really do enjoy hearing from others just like me. I hope you all have a Happy St. Patricks Day!

Nothing New to Report

I must admit, I have a fairly boring life. I haven’t blogged much because there just hasn’t been a whole lot of interesting stuff going on in my life. I’ve been adulting, which is boring. The part of adulting that sucks the worst for me is that I am adulting far beyond my age. I hurt from old Arthur like someone at least twice my age.

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Guess what. I wrote last year about our birth month. It is just around the corner again now. Only this time Brady will be 16 and all of my worries will multiply. It is so scary sending your teenaged son out into the world with his own set of car keys. Possibly, the scariest part of parenthood. Here’s their freedom, to some extent, will they make good decisions? Did you do your part for him to know and do better? How will this unfold? Not to mention the thought of your baby flipped over somewhere on the side of the road because he hasn’t answered the phone.

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We’ve all done it. We’ve all came tenfold on the annoying things our parents used to say to us. Just last night I uttered the words “if you lock that door again, I’m going to take it off the hinges.” “What if the house caught on fire?” I internally giggle because I know I was told this more than once in my life. My father has some sort of fear of things going up in flames. Every house my sister or I have moved into has to pass the fire alarm inspection at his first visit. And if it doesn’t, you’re going to hear about it at least weekly until it is ratified.

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I don’t know if it is just my body, but you would think cold weather would be much harsher on an RA, MCTD, problem-ridden body.  I hurt far worse during the summertime.  I’m not sure if it is the rain, the heat, the humidity, or a combination of them all. I just know that it isn’t fun. And I am not able to go do all of the fun summertime things because the sun is NOT my friend.

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I think I have always held a deep hatred for heat. I can put on more clothes to keep warm in the winter than I can take off to keep cool in the summer. My body sure tries to take things off though. I melt. I sweat, I stink, and most of all, I’m miserable.

 

I am hopeful that I will start blogging more. I can’t make any promises though. I just don’t have a whole lot new and interesting going on and unlike most people, I am hibernating for the summer. I am binge watching whatever I can find. I am working as much as I can. I am adulting. Are we having fun yet?